How to Handle Anger in Family Relationships?

Written by Dr. Rani Aimen

Last Updated on February 27, 2025

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Do you feel your blood pressure shooting when your spouse is not listening to you or helping you? Do you fume when you feel like your mother in law is trying to control you in most of the matters? Does the non-cooperative behavior from your child make you irritated? Do you have an inner frustration if your parents are giving more attention to other sibling? Well, it’s natural to feel anger in all these situations. What matters here is that how you manage that anger. In this article, we have shared some practical ways which will help you effectively handle anger in family relationships.

Articles Contains

Causes of Anger in Family Relationships
Strategies for Anger Management in Family Relationships.
Long-Term Benefits of Positively Handling Anger in Family Relationships?
Final Thoughts
Key Takeaways
Frequently Asked Questions
References

Causes of Anger in Family Relationships

Before learning the strategies to handle anger in family relationships, let’s first see what are some of the causes of this anger. Within families, anger can be because of several reasons. Some of these are:

Expectations not fulfilling
Communication gaps
Difference of opinion on issues and unresolved conflicts
Financial problems
Work pressure resulting in not giving productive time to family
Power struggles

To deal with anger effectively, you must be well-aware about yourself and have emotional intelligence (1). Those who are good at it are better able to build healthy family relationships and emotional closeness based on their better understanding and ability to resolve conflicts.

Whereas poor anger management worsens the condition by creating emotional barriers and long-term resentments. Some people even have regrets and long-term stress from their past outbursts in anger which can badly affect their physical and mental health (2).

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How to Handle: Strategies for Anger Management in Family Relationships

Let’s delve deeper here and know some of the strategies which will help you positively handle anger in family relationships.

1. Accept It

Yes, first of all, acknowledge and embrace your emotion of anger. Otherwise you can have passive-aggressive behavior (3). Know what triggers your anger, communicate what you feel in a healthy way, and develop strategy for resolving the underlying issue.

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2. Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques Help

Mostly people don’t know the importance of deep breathing but this is an effective way to handle anger and related stress. Deep breathing exercises with mindfulness make you self aware, calms the nervous system and reduces the intensity of your anger (4).

Other relaxation strategies that can help you calm your nerves, release your tension, and reduce the burden of the challenges that life throws at you can be:

Sipping your favorite drink
Having some pleasant scents around
Enjoying nature
Stretching
Listening to something soothing
Meditating
Engaging in humor and laughing at yourself for your unrealistic expectations
Exercising or doing enjoyable physical activities.

All this can lighten you up and help in reducing your anger. They are natural pick-me-ups and stress diffusers.

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3. Work On Your Communication

You really need to learn healthy communication for resolving your anger issues within the family. Some tips for improving your communication include:

Listen attentively to better understand and promote empathy (5).
Don’t blame others in your conversations rather use ‘I’ statements and address your issue directly and clearly. You can say I feel hurt or upset when my opinion is not heard instead of blaming others by saying they don’t listen to you.
Don’t react immediately, if you feel like yelling at someone pause, count till 10, or move away from that place, think before you speak.
Try your best to avoid lash outs as they mostly result in regrets.
Try to discuss about any conflicting issue when you and the other family member are calm as it will make the conversation more productive.

These communication tips let you handle anger better by giving you time for processing your emotions and reacting thoughtfully rather than just impulsively. This helps in preventing the anger from reaching its peak and the associated outbursts with it (6).

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4. Forgive And Forget

This is the hardest but it is the most important. Those who have grip on it are the real successful ones and are able to handle anger effectively.

If you hold on grudges and think that others will feel what you are going through and repay you, you are just in an imaginary world as this does not work mostly and only affects you and take you in bitterness. Where as forgiveness removes the burden from you.

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5. Set Your Boundaries

When family members are clear about boundaries of other family members, they are more likely to respect each other’s personal space as they know what is acceptable and what is going to create problem. This helps in reducing frustration, anger and resentments along with promoting respectful interactions (7).

For example some discipline and conflict resolution rules in home by the parents help them in controlling their excessive anger-driven punishments. Similarly those feeling disturbed by someone’s frequent interruption in conversation can say ‘Please let me complete my point before you start speaking’.

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6. Initiate Positive Interactions

Yes, this helps. Even if you just had an outburst and are feeling regret over it, just wait for a while and then start positive interactions with your family members. This technique works in most cases to counterbalance the negative impacts of anger in your relationships.

Joint family activities such as picnic, or game nights are good for fostering healthy bonding among family members and strengthening their relationship. This also makes it easier to go through conflicts if any arises.

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7. You Need A Break

Everyone needs it otherwise we are going to breakdown. Know yourself better, your energy levels and take small breaks throughout your stressful routine. This will help you to be at your best.

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8. Never Hesitate To Take Professional Help

If you are facing issue of uncontrolled anger which is disturbing your life and relationships, better is to take professional counsel and learn evidence-based techniques. Cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, or family counseling all work great for dealing with anger, healing, and enhancing your satisfaction in family relationships (8).

Specific therapists having training in anger management can also give customized management plan for individuals and families dealing with this issue after identification of the underlying causes (9).

What Are Some Long-Term Benefits Of Positively Handling Anger In Family Relationships?

Those who prioritize anger management and are able to effectively manage anger in their family relationships also get several long-term benefits because of it. Some of them are:

Strong family bonds
Having a sense of emotional safety meaning that you know you hold an importance in the family and you are respected
Overall having a supportive, harmonious, and nurturing environment in the home
Less conflicts among family
Healthier communications
Better role models for next generation for emotional regulation skills

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Final Thoughts

Those who prioritize anger management and are able to effectively manage anger in their family relationships also get several long-term benefits because of it. Some of them are:

Strong family bonds
Having a sense of emotional safety meaning that you know you hold an importance in the family and you are respected
Overall having a supportive, harmonious, and nurturing environment in the home
Less conflicts among family
Healthier communications
Better role models for next generation for emotional regulation skills

Key Takeaways

Now that you are aware that how you can handle anger in family relationships, let’s just go through the points briefly.

Know the root cause of your anger so that you can work on it
Accept that you are going through angry moments
Relax yourself with some relaxation techniques
Work on improving your communication
Make it your habit to forgive and forget
Clearly state your boundaries wherever needed
Even after an outburst in anger, initiate positive interactions with your family as its quite human
Give yourself breaks during your hectic schedules
Consult a therapist if situation is uncontrolled or for better guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. When my anger becomes unhealthy?

If you are having frequent outbursts, prolonged unresolved conflicts, frustration, and physical aggression, your anger is not healthy. When it is disturbing you or others, and affecting your relationships too, you must look into it.

2. What can I do in case of a heated argument?

Count till ten before responding,Try your best to avoid lash out, Move from the place, Do meditation to restore your focus.

3. How to improve communication for managing anger better?

Listen and understand better, Don’t blame others rather use ‘I’ statements, Don’t bring in whole past history but just focus on the current issue at hand.

4. How to prevent anger from reaching its peak?

Instead of waiting for a major conflict, address the problem early on, Never use harsh language at the moment, Work for solutions to the problem, not just invest your energies in winning the argument.

5. Can trust be rebuilded after an angry outburst?

Yes, accept the responsibility for your behavior, ask for forgiveness, start positive talks, and work on preventing such incidents in future. Be consistent with your behavior.

References

Gross, J. J. (1998). "The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review." Review eoff eGrenenceseral Psychology, 2(3), 271-299. https://www.elaborer.org/psy1045d/cours/Gross(1998).pdf.
Bushman, B. J. (2002). "Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding." Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724-731. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167202289002.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Delacorte Press. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-04192-000.
Brown, R. P., & Gerbarg, P. L. (2005). "Sudarshan Kriya yogic breathing in the treatment of stress, anxiety, and depression: Part I—Neurophysiologic model." Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 11(1), 189-201. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15750381/.
NeuroLaunch. (2024). Anger Management Therapy: Techniques for Emotional Control. Retrieved from https://neurolaunch.com/anger-management-therapy/.
Counselling Collective. (n.d.). Handling Anger In Relationships – Complete Guide. Retrieved from https://counsellingcollective.net/anger-in-your-relationships/.
Armstrong Family Counseling. (2024). Anger and Relationships: How Unmanaged Anger Impacts Loved Ones. Retrieved from https://armstrongfamilycounseling.com/anger-and-relationships-how-unmanaged-anger-impacts-loved-ones/.
MantraCare. (n.d.). Anger Management Family Therapy: Techniques and Benefits. Retrieved from https://mantracare.org/therapy/anger/anger-management-family-therapy/.
Counselling Collective. (n.d.). How to Deal with Anger in Relationships. Retrieved from https://counsellingcollective.net/how-to-deal-with-anger-in-relationships/

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